If you could chose the ‘perfect’ friend, what qualities would you look for? Perhaps you would use words like: loyal, dependable, keeps secrets, ‘bestie’, a good listener, forgiving, selfless, or supportive. But the truth is that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ friend. If you are looking for the perfect friend, you need to look to God, because everyone will let us down every once and while, but God will not.
Some friends are only for a season, that means they will only be around for a limited period of time in our lives. We don’t need friends who sugarcoat things, or only tell us what we want to hear. A good friend will be there during the ups and downs of life, and when we need them. A friend will motivate us to be our best, and have the courage to challenge us when they see behaviour in us that needs correcting. He or she will not allow us to go down the wrong path, and not tell us, or even worse; talk about us to others.
The same high expectations we want in a friend, should be the same that we display to them too. One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24).
In the Old Testament book of Job, his three friends were condemned as ‘miserable comforters’ (Job 16:2). But they did have at least three things right (Job 2:11-13). First, they came to him when he was suffering. Second they empathised with him. Third, they spent time with him. This teaches us that different friends come into our lives for different reasons, in other words, one friend will not likely be able to give us all of the things we need in a friend. One friend may be the encourager, another might be the one to tell us the honest truth (even when we don’t want to hear it), and yet another might give up their time for us. "Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)
God created us for relationships knowing that we need others, and others need us. No one can survive alone (Eccl. 4:9-10). When we consider the qualities we desire and expect in a good friend, we might conclude that they are hard to find. But are you the kind of friend you are looking for?
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